Mercenaries (2014)

Action, Adventure
Brigitte Nielsen, Cynthia Rothrock, Nicole Bilderback, Tim Abell
A diplomatic official is captured and imprisoned while touring a war zone, so a team of elite female commandos is assembled to infiltrate a women's prison for a daring rescue.
  • N/A Company:
  • Unrated Rated:
  • IMDB link IMDB:
  • 05 Aug 2014 Released:
  • N/A DVD Release:
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  • Edward DeRuiter (screenplay), Edward DeRuiter Writer:
  • Christopher Ray, Christopher Ray Director:
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Prison inmates (whaddaya expect?) promised freedom for rescuing diplomat (the president's daughter?)1/10
Got one word for it "Rubbish".

Everything is wrong. Settings completely wrong. None of the characters look remotely like Uzbeks. Kindly look up Uzbekistan and its natives and you'll find a whole lot of info.

The US with all its special forces units has to use prison inmates to do the job. What the hell was the president's daughter doing in Uzbekistan? A girl called Lexa suddenly pops up, speaks flawless English and proceeds to guide the rescuers to the place. How she knows all these with so many ruthless guards is beyond me. Two girls, both with bullet wounds, calmly chat away and sort of amble away to their freedom.

Stupid plot.

Don't waste your time; I've wasted mine.
Stay away from this piece of garbage (it's from The Asylum)1/10
I could rant about things like the uninspired washed out actresses and bad FX but even with a good cast and better FX it would stay an horrible movie. Made and sold on being an "Expendables" with women but not even close and probably done for 1/25th of an Expendables movie's budget. It's a mock buster with absolutely no plot (the little there is, is taken from Escape from New York), no reason nor sense. The team actions and decisions have no logic. It's an action movie without action and it's it worst crime. It's not even funny-bad, there is long stretches of boring and useless scenes for padding between boring talks (TALKS !!!) where nothing happen. save 90 MN of your lives and please watch something else. It's bad even by The Asylum sub-standards.
This film is best used to fertilize your garden.2/10
What a load of steaming manure. There is a basic quality to the plot, some of the acting is OK, the rest is horrific. You know you are in trouble when Kristina Loken puts in a performance significantly better than any one else. The fight choreography has some, er, nope, it ranges from average to poor, with most of the fault lying in the hands of the chimp that directed this and his ham fisted editor. I have seen worse premises for films, but whoever thought that taking the concept of The Expendables for women, adding the premise from Snake Pliskin, and handing over 1/10th of the budget really must have owed someone a soul to get this pile of tripe made. I love cheesy bad action films, it is a weakness for me, and I will forgive most things. But holy cow this film is just bad on too many levels and never makes fun of itself, it is trying to be good, and failing on every possible level. Bad directing of mostly bad actors, no finance, no continuity, not pacing, no rhythm, no originality (except new lows) nothing to redeem it. Watch Expendables and Escape from New York in stead. If you like the actresses watch Death Proof and Blood Rayne. Still not good movies, but a lot better than this.
Generic to the core and less than mediocre...3/10
"Mercenaries" is a fairly straight out of the 'how to make an action movie' textbook, except that the movie didn't really turn out to be anything extraordinary. The whole movie was well below average.

The story is about daughter of the president of the United States who has been kidnapped by a ruthless warlord in the Republic of Kazakhstan. The warlord is threatening the USA to make her ruler of her country and wipe out the other rivalling warlords. And the USA government brings in a group of imprisoned women to act as mercenaries, promising them full pardons if they rescue the presidents daughter.

Right, well fairly straight forward storyline. But it was so straight forward to the point of being ridiculously generic and seen in way too many movies before. And that was one of the major factors that worked against this movie.

This being a movie by The Asylum, I will say that they have veered quite far from what they usually make. That is a good thing, because this movie actually made some sense. Just a shame that it was weighed down by a well-below average storyline.

The acting in the movie was adequate. No one really stood out here, which ultimately led to a fairly mundane experience.

"Mercenaries" is the type of movie that you watch once, then forget about it, and never will pick up again for a second viewing. I would assume that the movie might have some appeal if you are a fan of any of the ladies on the cast list. But other than that, then there is nothing appealing or alluring about "Mercenaries".
Mediocre and cheesy, but somehow enjoyable and dumb fun5/10
Mercenaries (2014) is the kind of movie that is quite honest with people who watch it. It doesn't pretend to be more than what should be.

The plot is paper thin. Very basic, probably made by monkeys.

Character A gets kidnapped by bad guys. Character B recruits some criminals by offering them redemption. The girls go to war and there will be death and destruction.

Blood squibs, horrible CGI, laughable acting, Vivica Fox is fatty, Brigitte Nielsen is over the top, handguns have 50 bullets without even reloading, bad guys are retarded and dumb by missing shots when their enemies are only 3 feet away from them.

The last fight was so cheesy and probably it was meant to be that way. Fortunately, it's short ( 84 minutes ) and it's OK to watch if you have nothing better to do.