Age of Dinosaurs (2013)

Action, Sci-Fi
Treat Williams, Ronny Cox, Jillian Rose Reed, Joshua Michael Allen
Using breakthrough flesh-regeneration technology, a biotech firm creates a set of living dinosaurs....
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  • 19 May 2013 Released:
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  • Hank Woon Jr. Writer:
  • Joseph J. Lawson Director:
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Trailer:

Horrible and not in a good way1/10
Horrible, horrible, horrible. Do NOT rent.

Don't be fooled by the juvenile cover thinking this is a kids movie. We were in a hurry and thought it would be a good choice. Wished we'd checked these reviews first. Lol!

The acting and special effects are atrocious even for a low budget film.

Don't waste your money.

As I watched the first few minutes of the film, I wondered how Treat Williams felt about doing this film. He was the best part - if there has to be a best part.

I'm not sure what else to say to convince you not to rent it, but I have to fill up 10 lines of text.
You Know What To Expect4/10
Using breakthrough flesh-regeneration technology, a biotech firm creates a set of living dinosaurs. But when the creatures escape their museum exhibit and terrorize Los Angeles, a former firefighter must rescue his teenage daughter from the chaos brought on by the Age of Dinosaurs.

We have the benefit of a film starring Treat Williams ("Dead Heat") and Ronny Cox ("RoboCop"), but that is about the best thing you can say for this film. It is exactly what you expect, with such an obvious rip-off of "Jurassic Park" that I am surprised they even bothered to make it.

If you like the cheese that comes out of the Asylum, feel free to check out this piece of work. If not, avoid it. There is no way I am going to try to convince anyone to see this turkey.
Jurassic Asylum... wait, ah well, just go with the flow...3/10
This was bad on a Jurassic scale. Given it is a movie from The Asylum, then at least we as the audience have an ounce of hope that this might just be one of those movies that stand out from the rest of the movies that they spew out. But no. I must say that given the cover/poster for the movie, I had my hopes up just a little bit, but when I saw THE ASYLUM on the screen as the movie started, all hopes evaporated like dew before the rising sun.

The idea was pretty much everything that was used in the "Jurassic Park" movies; dinosaurs have been brought back to life by the hands of humans with the help of technology and research. And of course, these dinosaurs break free of their captivity and wreck havoc on a major city - in this case Los Angeles.

Right, almost textbook page by page copy from "Jurassic Park", well, and then exposed to The Asylum. What could possibly go wrong?

I will say that the dinosaurs as CGI animated creatures were actually quite alright. However, when they brought in the prosthetics and puppets it just went from alright to oh-so-wrong. These non-CGI animated dinosaurs were such an eyesore that it was downright embarrassing to watch. Especially the scene with the pteranodon in the helicopter. Look at the beak when it is CGI animated and then look at the difference in texture and color even when it is a real prosthetic used. It was just so bad.

Story-wise, then "Age of Dinosaurs" was nowhere near as interesting as "Jurassic Park", and chances are that if you have seen any of the "Jurassic Park" movies and enjoyed them, then you don't really want to spend 88 minutes on this movie. The story was as plain, predictable and textbook material as they come.

And what about the title itself, "Age of Dinosaurs"? Wouldn't that actually indicate a period of time spanding more than a single day? Well, I guess the title was just about as good as the actual movie was.

Regarding the acting in the movie, well, nothing overly interesting here. You have TV pseudo-legend Treat Williams, but he is barely making it watchable. And then there was Ronny Cox, which was actually nice to see, though this is not one of his best movies, not by a long shot.
A Good Day to Not Watch This4/10
This Asylum flick has all the cliches of a good old fashioned low budget TV movie: cowardly scientists that play god, greedy corner cutting businessman bully, innocent and completely stupid teenager girl, action figure concerned father, brave American cops, Ronny Cox (a cliche all of his own), rapacious dinosaurs and really dumb special effects.

Now, I didn't really expect anything else, but frankly I felt offended by the messages in this film. You should never be arrogant, innovative or bold. Stay in your place like so many female characters in the film. If you are a teenager you are dumb. Not just dumb, retarded (in the scientific sense, not the jargon one). If you are a woman, you are helpless. No measure of protection will help you from what you fear will happen. Glass will always break, even if it is cutting edge rocket one. You can do anything to protect your children, including killing priceless dinosaurs and trying to run away from them by going inside the city, so they can kill other people as well; corollary: being a concerned parent trumps any other motivation. Always use extreme violence when threatened: bring the cops and military if possible and shoot bullets into animals rather than call animal control specialists with tranquillizers. Oh, and if you try to revive the dinosaurs, do it en masse, all species, as big as possible, before you announce it to the world in a small building with no TV coverage and let them escape.

Bottom line: this film wasn't just bad, it was offensive and completely stupid. Treat Williams and Ronny Cox rarely play in masterpieces of cinema, but this was just too much. Not even bad enough to be funny.
It's actually worse than you're expecting2/10
No, really. I knew it was going to be bad. Really bad. I mean, a low budget movie about dinosaurs roaming around in LA is going to be bad. You know it's going to rip off ideas and scenes from Jurassic Park. Of course it is... because that's THE benchmark for dinosaur movies. And it's going to be a clone of all the disaster/horror/animals at large movies ever made. If you're like me, you're completely aware of this going in. In fact, you crave a good Cheese-fest B-movie. But no matter how low your expectations are, this movie was still worse.

Considering how far the CG industry has come since Jurassic Park, which was 20 years ago now, I have what I consider a reasonable expectation of monster SFX to be. This wasn't that good. I mean, they actually failed to match 20 year old tech, or apparently develop any kind of realistic motion models. The flying dinos look like claymation. The matting is horrid, with poorly rendered CG dinos clearly not even remotely matching the background.

Nah, there's no redemption. And yet, many will watch this on Netflix because it's there. So if you're checking this review prior to watching, take your lowest expectations and drop them one or two levels.

It's absolutely insane that there can be this many people in the industry who have access to the means of making a movie, but still have no idea how to make a movie. Bad script, bad acting, bad CG, bad music, bad sound FX, bad audio mixing, bad foley, bad continuity, bad makeup, bad costumes, bad lighting, almost every aspect is bad, which is why you'll want to watch it for the cheese factor.