Prometheus (2012)

Adventure, Mystery, Sci-Fi
Noomi Rapace, Logan Marshall-Green, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron
A team of explorers discover a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth, leading them on a journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race.
Ridley Scott's ambitious quasi-prequel to Alien may not answer all of its big questions, but it's redeemed by its haunting visual grandeur and compelling performances -- particularly Michael Fassbender as a fastidious android.
  • 20th Century Fox Company:
  • R Rated:
  • IMDB link IMDB:
  • 08 Jun 2012 Released:
  • 09 Oct 2012 DVD Release:
  • $126.5M Box office:

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Trailer:

Ridiculous nonsense.1/10
WARNING: LOTS OF SPOILERS.

Synopsis: Two archaeologists find some old drawings of an alien and a star map. They "choose to believe" that the aliens created human life. So they travel to the planet identified in the drawings. When they arrive at the planet, the members of the expedition all work against each other even though they all want the same thing. Each member then repeated does really stupid things until most of them are dead. The film ends before we see the final stupid decision actually kill the last surviving members.

Nothing the characters did made any sense:

> The robot without feelings falls in love with a woman.

> The robot then risks her life because he wants to preserve the parasite inside her. Why? No reason.

> The expedition is searching for life, but the biologist wants to return to the ship when they find a 2000 year old corpse.

> The geologist also wants to return to the ship rather than look at rocks.

> The geologist then gets lost despite being in charge of the mapping device.

> The top boss pays for the expedition, but pretends he's dead and hides on the ship. Why? No reason.

> The leader of the expedition refuses to cooperate with either the robot or the archaeologists - even though they all want the same thing.

> The alien tries to kill everyone, so the surviving characters decide to go to the alien's home planet to talk to them.

Another issue that kept annoying me was the inaccurate terminology used. There was no reason for it - it was just wrong. For example, at one point the archaeologists talk about abiogenesis and the biologist weirdly starts talking about evolution. Later on, a head exploded (like in Scanners) and the scientist says "Why did that head combust?". I don't expect screenwriters to have degrees, but they should at least look up words in the dictionary.

The CGI is good and the acting would be fine if the actors had been given something worthwhile to do. But every other aspect of the film was a disappointing waste of time.

1/10
Where no idiot has gone before1/10
Prometheus is the story of a trillion-dollar mission to discover the origins of human life on a distant planet. Basically, this is supposed to be the greatest exploration undertaken in the history of mankind.

So who do they send? A gaggle of fractious goons whose collective scientific nous is rivalled only by that of the Three Stooges. Within minutes of touching down (conveniently beside the only 'man-made' structures on the planet, a'la 1960s Star Trek) the 'scientists' are yanking off their helmets, on the basis of 'it seems fine to me', dipping their fingers into strange organic ooze, and lugging a severed alien head back to an unquarantined spaceship in a sandwich bag.

Once there, they speedily discover the meaning of life. Then, while one of them gets a bit drunk, his two female companions decide it would be useful to stimulate the head electrically to reanimate it. They don't say why. They give it a bit too much juice, then too little,then dither over too much or too little like a couple of schoolgirls fiddling with a dicky bunsen burner, while the most important scientific discovery in human history waggles its ears and rolls its eyes - before eventually blowing up like a frog in a microwave.

Are the scientists abashed? Is the man angry? Do they all calm down and remember they have degrees in clever things, not diplomas in macrame? Do they heck.

The WHOLE MOVIE is a litany of ludicrous so-called science, schoolboy errors, and pseudo-profundity about the origin of species. Ironic really, when none of the crew would have a chance in hell in any sort of contest governed by Darwinian rules.

Crass stupidity is rampant in every department. Hi-tech helmets record every heartbeat - apparently until anything worth recording happens; stranded crewmates are abandoned to their fate in favour of a quick shag, and the spaceship door is opened to anyone who comes a-knocking. Although, after hitting the 'welcome' button, Idris Alba does do a double take and go 'Hold on a second!' but that might have just been an involuntary ad lib at his own character's baffling idiocy.

There is spectacular cinematography and effects, but not one iota of originality has been squandered on plot, subtext, tension or characters - which are as shallow as the Prometheus's muddy little gene pool.

Ridley Scott is a hero of mine, but Prometheus is not the intelligent, emotionally satisfying prequel that Alien deserves. It's a derisory, empty experience - and anyone who loved Alien is surely too old and too smart to be fobbed off with something this bad just because it's shiny.
Amateur hour4/10
Lindelhoffed /'LinDelHofd/

Verb:

1 a : Similar to a "Rick Roll", when one is conned into viewing a series of moving pictures with no conclusive finale, despite the viewer investing a lot of emotion and time in the story.

b (1) : a bottom feeder (2) : to Lindelhoff, much like a cock tease, when a sexual partner brings the other to the point of climax but then bails just before reaching orgasm.

PROMETHEUS Plot holes AND IRRITATIONS ***SPOILERS***

1. The dreams sequence. David can watch Shaw's dreams. Amazingly this technology also cuts from scene to scene like a movie camera...Please. No one dreams like that.

2. How did they randomly find the temple so quick? This is an entire planet surface!

3. Why was the landing so soft and easy?

4. Why does Fifield start screaming at Shaw like that? Calm down mate..jeez..And later on with an Alien cobra he is cool as ice.

5. Why does that moron Buddy Holly scientist try and touch the cobra alien? not once....not twice...but 3 TIMES!!!

6. Why on earth would a scientist remove their helmets in a possibly infected temple? I am just a civilian and even I understand the concept of VIRUS CONTAMINATION ON AN ALIEN FRIGGIN PLANET. They then have the cheek to talk about Shaw's strict quarantine fail-safe procedures...please

7. What does this Black Goo do exactly? Accelerate worm growth? Infect crew members? Cause pregnancies? Create life? Pick one and stick to it please

8. Why does Ford straight away start giving the head electricity for kicks? Do they not have procedures? What is this fun with Frankenstein?

9. Why does the head explode?

10. Why are the medical staff so damn careless with a possibly disease ridden and bacteria infested decapitated head? I swear they didn't even wear plastic gloves.

11. How did Shaw know the Jockey was heading to Earth to destroy it? Pretty big assumption from a couple of punches thrown.

12. How does David know the Space Jockey is heading to kill Shaw on the Medical Bay?

13. How does Shaw know her baby will attack the Jockey?

14. i was really amazed that Shaw has this 'baby' but fails to mention the horrific and super extraordinary situation she had just been through. ''oh hey guys, ha ha, nearly forgot. FYI, you won't believe what just happened to me on the way here''....''i just gave birth to an alien..'' ''yeah, i know CRAZY right, considering i had sex only 10 BLOODY HRS AGO!!''

15. -The whole Vickers' Star Wars 'Father' line...

16. -The 'bet' between the co-pilots was cringe-worthy

17. HUGE ONE…How the hell does Shaw walk after abdominal surgery? If abdominal muscle is cut you can NOT walk, the muscle needs to be sewn back…But no, a few staples and she is good to go…

18. Why does the tentacle creature have tentacles from the evil Planet X?

19. Why do the space jockeys allow any old tramp to walk in an use their security systems?

20. Why does the space jockey want to kill, kill and kill…You'd think an advanced race would be a little civilised?

21. What was the point of Guy Pearce as Weyland? Why was he even there? So he just assumed this temple would contain a fountain of life…..right….I guess he 'chose to believe' too…f**k me…

Honestly there are so many more I can't even write them all…But this movie has more plot-holes than the Iraqi Navy
Muddled, boring and lacking tension. (possible spoilers)1/10
I saw this at a midnight preview and I was really looking forward to it. I'm a big fan of Alien, but I was really disappointed; this is a bloated mess.

In Alien, the creature presented an abstract threat to earth but the plot centered on the immediate, physical threat to the crew. In Prometheus, the threat is purely abstract and while SOME bad stuff happens to the characters, they are all unsympathetic so it is difficult to care. Characters are established with simplistic dialog; this is the cool black guy, this is the incautious explorer, this is the obnoxious mercenary cyberpunk (who, for no reason, is also a scientist), this is the uptight corporate type.

The scientists don't behave like scientists, they don't talk like scientists. The nerdy biologist (who has to walk off to be monster fodder later), walks away from an alien corpse because it's not his field of interest. Huh? Archeologists suddenly turn into medical experts and people exploring an alien ecosystem for the first time remove helmets without regard for contamination of the environment or themselves. Often, the only justification for character actions seems to be to set up later plot points.

Alien worked because it focused on believable characters stuck in a terrible situation, without that believability the film would be greatly lessened. Prometheus, lacking that, is uninteresting.

Prometheus puts me in mind of Avatar. The use of 3D is excellent and the art direction is amazing. However, as with Avatar, technical excellence cannot make up for a terrible plot, sub-standard characterisation and meaningless dialogue.
Ridley Scott forgot everything about great movies except for the craft3/10
I'm really sorry, but this a major disappointment.

No, I didn't expect miracles or something close to the original Alien. I've been following Scott for 30 years - and it's clear that he has been on the decline since Gladiator and Black Hawk Down.

I liked a few of his later movies like A Good Year - but most have been rather flat and uninspired.

One thing I've noticed, is that he's gotten increasingly complacent with his own "point of view" in terms of historical facts and how things work in reality. It's like he has a complete disregard for plausible motivations or factual information about how things work.

Case in point - there's a scene in the movie where a certain character has to have an operation performed on her body - and it involves slicing directly through the skin and muscle-tissue of her abdomen. After the procedure, she's simply "stitched together" by metal clips in like 3 seconds - and with a bit of local anesthetic, she continues to move and jump about with some moaning. Ehm, you CAN'T have any kind of normal movement with your muscle tissue completely severed - and there was absolutely no healing involved. Just one of a series of ridiculous events.

The plot is entirely juvenile and cliche stuff with "profound" questions like who created us. For some reason, the beings who created us also want to kill us - and it seems to involve incredibly elaborate genetic engineering that also happened to kill most of them in their remote "lab facility". They're CLEARLY much more powerful than we are - and they could just bomb the hell out of us, or do it in a thousand simpler ways. But no, they seem to want to utilize excessively elaborate and dangerous genetic modification or infestation - that they can't even control.

They also like to record recent events with some kind of holographic recorder device that is unable to render clear images, only some cool ghostly images that I bet Scott loved to play with. But they're quite flexible in how they let you play recordings of their security procedure - so you can access their systems without effort.

Characters are void of personality and growth, they're REALLY stupid - and they like to freak out for no reason, and they like to stay calm and playful when there IS a reason - like when encountering a nasty looking cobra-worm - an alien - for the first time in history.

Among these faceless people - we have some willing to gleefully commit suicide by ramming an alien ship, because they like their captain, and they're required to do so because he "can't fly worth a damn" - despite him being the primary pilot hired by a billionaire to do nothing but fly the ship.

We have a religious scientist who concludes that she's found our creators, based on: "It's what I choose to believe".

Then we have the very same religious scientist look at an alien "head" they brought back - and she notices some strange growth on it. She then spends 2 seconds thinking and concludes that this is obviously some kind of "foreign cells" (impressive deduction, I must say) - and she decides to stimulate the cells with electricity - just to see what happens. No research - no caution - no nothing.

We have people who decide to open the door to their ship, seemingly with no thought process, despite having just faced complete chaos by extremely hostile alien forces - because one of their crew mates seems to be lying in front of the door. This while other crew mates have just been taken over by some kind of alien infestation.

Then we have the boyfriend of said religious scientist (a douche) who decides that the air in an alien environment is safe to breathe because his device tells him it is - and he immediately removes his helmet. A classic Hollywood scientist moment, and clearly there's no need to worry about biological contaminants in a place like that.

This movie is FULL of this kind of utterly implausible behavior and random decisions.

It has a couple of "for effect" gore scenes - but Scott manages to include ZERO tension along with them. As a result, they're mildly disgusting - but they have no lasting effect whatsoever.

The "aliens" that are a part of this movie all look like plastic - because of overly smooth and pale skin. They look like Lovecraft creatures without a much-needed paint-job.

We have a horribly predictable, pointless and wasted twist involving Guy Pearce and a certain other cast member.

We have an android, well-acted by Fassbender, who seems to be fully random in his decisions and motivations. Few actions made sense in any context - not to me anyway.

The music was overwrought and didn't fit with the mood of the film, and it seemed like one theme being repeated endlessly. A surprise, given Scott's usual flair for good music.

I think Lindelof is a complete and total hack - who only got the job because he was the "yes-man" who could match Scott's ego. This is pretty obvious in interviews - where Lindelof always manages to publicly kiss Scott's behind.

1 Star for Fassbender's performance.

1 Star for the amazingly detailed visuals.

1 Star for how the above combine to form the excellent beginning.

Now, it's just a matter of leaning back - musing over a thousand different people coming up with a thousand different explanations - each being the "correct" interpretation of this deep and thought-provoking masterpiece.

Going by the IMDb rating, I can do nothing but stay mesmerized by how efficient it is to rely on the "Emperor's New Clothes" effect and let hype do the rest. Stay real Scott, Lindelof and Hollywood.